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Becky says things about … acceptance

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Greetings, isolators!

How’s it going? Broken into that bottle of traquelizers yet? Punched a hole through the oven door yet? Covered an entire wall with pictures of Jet from Gladiators yet? (And if not, why not?)

Well, it’s been an interesting week or so, hasn’t it? Each day has brought a new treat for us to try to comprehend, treats which would be utterly mind-blowing if we had even one of them to deal with, but to be given all of them at once really takes the biscuit.

So whilst it’s impossible to comprehend everything that is happening, we must try to accept what is happening – because if we don’t accept it, we will try to fight against it, and that’s when this happens:

So I thought it might be helpful if I shared with you a few of the things I’ve accepted over the past few days, and if it’s not helpful, then at least it gives you something to do for five minutes that isn’t dusting the ceiling (again) or building a small cage out of pipe cleaners in which to keep your bemused and hyperactive home-schooled children.

1 – I have accepted that life as we know it has changed for the foreseeable future, and that simple everyday things we take for granted, like popping to the pub or seeing friends or using toilet roll to wipe our bums, are temporarily off the cards.

2 – I have accepted that I cannot physically visit my friends and family, even if none of us are sweating or hacking into our arms, but that social lives can continue and even flourish thanks to the wonders of modern technology; and, moreover, I have accepted that this form of socialising brings its own benefits.

3 – I have accepted that it may be several months before I wear normal clothes like jeans, or dresses, or shirts, and that by the time I have a reason to get out of my leggings and hoodies, there is a real possibility that I may have forgotten how to wear other clothes.

4 – I have accepted that – as is the case for every single one of us – hopes and plans have been unceremoniously lobbed out the window, and that my much longed-for plan of finally getting on the housing ladder this year is now as likely as Donald Trump suddenly apologising for being a psychopathic turnip; but I have accepted this with surprising ease because there is absolutely n o t h i n g I can do about it, and I am only one of millions of people who have had to cancel plans like holidays, parties, weddings and important life events, to much heartache and ballache.

5 – I have accepted that I will have to visit at least 18 shops in order to find basic essentials, and also accepted that I will have to ration what I eat when I can’t find them – but I have readily accepted this fact, because it means that I am not a heinous bellend who has stockpiled 1,573 eggs and 30,921 ready meals over the past couple of weeks, and I would rather ration what I eat than be a bellend.

6 – I have accepted that, due to my work all but drying up, I will have to be incredibly responsible and careful with my time over the coming weeks and months, because the time-consuming concept of ‘busyness’ has evaporated. I have accepted that it is no one’s responsibility but my own to ensure that I forge structure and productivity through these sudden limitless plains of time, and not plummet into a personal quest to see if it’s possible to watch every true crime documentary ever made.

7 – I have accepted that there will be good days – those days when living alone in an isolating world with time on my hands won’t seem so bad –

– and that there will be bad days, when news from the outside world is particularly grim, or personal news is worrying, or devastating; or the magnitude of what is happening, and the unknown of when it will end, becomes simply too much – and I have accepted this, because it will be humanly impossible to endure this with unwavering smiles and good cheer, even if you are secretly enjoying life in isolation.

8 – I have accepted that my experience of this – trying to fill time, trying to cope with being alone – will be very different to the experience of thousands of others who have incredible demands on their time and have to leave their homes every day to keep the world turning, and that I am not worthy in the face of people who look after others in these unprecedentedly hard times and who, at some point, may look after me and those I love.

9 – I have accepted that the way I feel now – which is quite positive, and productive, and defiant – may not be the way I feel in a week’s time, or three weeks’ time, or two months’ time, when I may feel scared, or depressed, or terrified, or lonely, or hopeless; and I have accepted that I will feel all those things, and that it is okay to feel those things.

10. And finally, I have accepted that it is only be a matter of time before I go and buy a melon.

 

Stay healthy, stay home, and look after each other xx


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